"They all lined up with their bows in hand, ready to practice their artichoke." -- Spellcheck Fail #025
Insert Title of Bio
Insert common 'writing since I was little' here. Look approachable and easy to connect with an average and non-special '9-to-5' that you regrettably still work at. Witty remark. Insert awkward funny remark that doesn't make sense. Counteract embarrassment with semi-amusing short story and interesting summary that sums up whole life with a few words. End with acknowledgement of reading status. Insert button. Mention if reader is intrigued and willing to learn more, they should click said button.
Realizing that after putting in the effort, deep down, half of the people don't scroll down to read this. The half that do, don't even bother to read the bio, and only 1% of those people even click the button. Cry in corner.